Tuesday, June 21, 2011

He is a 61 year old Senior.. it wasn't his fault Officer.

Ok, to say that my Dad is one of the funniest guys I know is an understatement. He has always been the life of the party and you always knew when he walked in a room because he always has some thing to say.

The way my friends use to described my dad in high school was the "white version of Uncle Phil" (from the fresh Prince of BellAir). He looks like he could be in a biker club however get him around his grand daughter and he is a BIG ol' teddy bear.

This is a typical story that would happen to ONLY my dad.

He was working in the garage, cleaning and puttering around when he heard the neighbors lawn mower stop and his name being called "Mr. Mann....... Mr. Mann" (in a low whisper). My parents neighbour is the old man from Denise the Menace, he hates my dad more then anyone in the world. Old man asks " Did you cut down my tree?" My dad was trying to think back to the last time he "trimmed" back the tree that is hang on his property???? Ah it was was 3 years ago. Nope my dad says. Then the old man started to yell at him. Well one thing led to another and the old man picked up some pine cones and started throwing them at my dad. There is a very small wooded fence that separates my parents front lawn and the neighbours. They were each standing on their own sides and my dad reaches across the fence and slaps the man...... Yep I grew up in this very loving, caring, compassionate family and my dad is the guy who (for lack of a better word) bitch slaps the neighbour. The neighbour is so pissed he calls the cops. Oh yay it gets better!!!

The Cops show up and take the old man's statement.. he is trying to file an assault charge on my dad - who has now gone back in the garage to continue puttering. When the first cop showed up he saw my dad and called in back up. After the third cop came it was time to get my dad's statement. They send in the littlest cop in to my dad's garage.

Cop: Hello Mr. Mann can you please explain why you hit your neighbour?
Dad: Well you see officer I'm a 61 year old senior and he started throwing stuff at me and I didn't know what it was? I was just defending my self.

The officer was not buying it.

Cop: He is also telling us that you have a vicious dog.
Dad: My dog is in the house right now you are more then welcome to go up to the front door and look in the window to see him.

Cop walks over to the window and walks back.

Cop: Are you trying to tell me that the "little" white dog (Jack Russell) is the dog he is complaining about?
Dad: Yep!!!

Side story- My dad and this neighbour have been fighting since the day we moved in. He just likes to complain about everything. He keeps telling my dad to stop letting the dog poop on his property. They have a really bad skunk, raccoon and rabbit problem in there neighbourhood and the chances that it is the dog are very slim??? One day my dad went out to his car and there was poop smeared all over his windshield and under the door handle to his car. The neighbour had collected it all and thrown it on my dads car. Did my dad call the police... NO! (He was more excited it gave him a good story to tell his friends. lol)

The cop asked my dad and the neighbour to shake hands and that there are better ways of defending your self them hitting.

Neither my Dad or the neighbour would shake hands. So the drama continues.....


  1. Oh Norm. My god. He's one of those people who thinks that everyone will immediately CARE about his concerns. My dad has stories about him too. Newsflash: Norm, we have bigger fish to fry. And why are your 40-year-old children still living with you?

  2. This had me giggling!! It sounds like an episode of something on TV??!! I thought you were going to say that your dad started throwing pine cones back at the old guy (which would have been funny) but when you said that he "bitch slapped" him,, OMG!!! Funniest thing ever! Good for you dad!! I'm glad he wasn't charged!! teehee
    Please keep us posted on the feud!

  3. Ummm wow. It's kinda funny but it sure does suck when you hate your neighbours! Poop on the car? Really?!? OMG!